What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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