She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
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I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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