he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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