Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
