The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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