We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
