i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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