Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
