he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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