So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
