Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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