Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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