Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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