I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
