what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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