It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
