shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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