Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
