i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I can text with my tongue
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
