you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize