So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize