its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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