i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
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Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
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Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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