you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize