Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
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Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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