well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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