So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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