I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
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His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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