I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
