from now on my penis is your penis
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I enjoy the company of your penis
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
