I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
