dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
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I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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