More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize