I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
