All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just googled if crying burns calories
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
