lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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