The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
