Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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