she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
