That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize