apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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