i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize