I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
