So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
