Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize