I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
please come you make the beer taste better
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
