can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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