the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
