We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
