when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You dont lie about slip and slides
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
