Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
