Duck Duck Cougar?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
