How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
