I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
