there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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