Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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