I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
