Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
