Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
