the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
