billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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