No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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